...and here I am back, typing away on my blog. On the other side.
I'm doing well. Very well. The following is my experience of the surgery, and aftermath.
I awoke around 3 am last Thursday (July 21st). We needed to be in Iowa City by 5:30, so we left Grinnell at 4:30 am. I slept a few hours, but not too much. The ride up to Iowa City was fairly quiet with myself, my wife, and mother. I checked in right at 5:30, and was called back within minutes to change into my gown. Jackie (wife) came back with me and we waited for about 30-45 minutes after I changed for a nurse to come in. She had a series of questions for me, and took my vitals. After this the anesthesiologist came in and put in my IV. I said my "I love you's" to my family, and headed down the hall with the anesthesiologist. At this point I started to get a little nervous, but everything was seeming somewhat surreal. I walked into my operating room to a staff of about 10 different doctors that began getting me into place. At this point, the anesthesiologist gave some of the "good stuff" for nerves...the last thing I remember was talking to one of the doctors or nurses about the good microbrews out there, and then I was out.
**********************************************************************
I awoke approximately 7 hours later to the doctors giving me the good news - they were able to extract the whole tumor. Unfortunately I did have to sacrifice my hearing on my right side, but I knew going in that this would probably happen.
The pain was not intolerable. I was just so...fatigued. The thing that hurt the most when I first woke up were actually my shoulders. Apparently it was because I was positioned for that 7 hours of surgery. This pain quickly subsided. It wasn't completely painless - it was kind of like having a migraine headache, but also the incision hurt a little bit. But again, it was tolerable. I had family come in and visit, and even though I was physically able to, I didn't say anything because it kind of hurt to talk.
The first four hours or so were not great fun. They tried to give me pain pills, but I wasn't able to hold them down and vomited. This hurt because of the pressure it put on my newly sewed up head, and the clean up was not fun either. However from this point on, things only got better. I tried the pain pills again probably about a few hours later, and they stayed down. Relief. I was in the ICU, so nurses come in every hour to take my vitals including my blood sugar...so it was tough to get any consistent sleep. Around 2 am, the nurses said they were going to move me to another ICU - they had to get someone in there that was in more serious condition, and I was the most stable. I had no problems with this - I was happy to give up my spot.
The night went by in somewhat of a haze. The dizziness and fatigue were pretty significant, BUT my nausea was gone. This was a huge win. Once my wife and mother showed up the next day, I was a new man. The nurse took the catheter out (which wasn't as bad as I had thought). I was talking just fine, without any additional pain. Later that day, I was moved to a regular room that I had to myself. Then, came another important milestone: my first post surgery meal! It had been almost 2 days since I had last eaten, and my stomach finally caught up with this. A lot of people have trouble tasting after surgery, but my taste was fine (thankfully). Friday I was able to sit up in the bed and actually stand up. I was a little surprised with how dizzy I actually was!
Saturday came, and I was rapidly improving. I was getting up to walk, and eating large amounts of food. The nursing staff was incredible. Not only were they accommodating, but they were there for optimism, and to really promote getting through this by utilizing activity. By the time Saturday night rolled around, they thought it was a possibility that I could leave the next day.
Sunday morning I wanted to make sure that I could go up and down a flight of stairs. This was the final test. Fortunately I came through with flying colors, and was headed back to Des Moines by noon. This week has been a delicate combination of rest and staying active enough to exercise my balance. Stairs aren't a problem at all. Today I walked the entire mall nearby without any issue. I did go home and crash on the couch for a couple hours afterwards, but I'm seeing progress!
This has been my experience thus far. I'm thankful for my family and friends that have made this experience so much easier!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Hours
I think I've managed to 'cross the t's, and dot the i's'. I went into work today for a few hours, just to make sure I had everything wrapped up. I was surprised that I was a little sad to leave - not out of love for my cubicle job...more because I've kind of have my own family there. My department only has 7 of us, and most of us have been at the same position for 3+ years together.
After work, I harvested some of our beans in our vegetable garden (good turnout this year!), mowed the grass, and watered the grass/flowers/vegetable garden. The heat is simply sweltering.
12 hours from just about right now, my destination will be the University of Iowa Hospital. I have to be there at 5:30am, and surgery is 7:15am.
My nerves are only slightly rattled - only knowing that something potentially life altering is happening. For the most part, I just want to get this damn thing out of me and move on.
"You cannot appreciate your triumphs if you do not appreciate the hardships of battle." - Josh Coburn
After work, I harvested some of our beans in our vegetable garden (good turnout this year!), mowed the grass, and watered the grass/flowers/vegetable garden. The heat is simply sweltering.
12 hours from just about right now, my destination will be the University of Iowa Hospital. I have to be there at 5:30am, and surgery is 7:15am.
My nerves are only slightly rattled - only knowing that something potentially life altering is happening. For the most part, I just want to get this damn thing out of me and move on.
"You cannot appreciate your triumphs if you do not appreciate the hardships of battle." - Josh Coburn
Less than 48 Hours
I'm feeling fairly at peace. A little uneasy, a bit of nerves...but for the most part I'm pretty at ease. I don't know if I have denial still going on - the last week has been a complete blur. Jackie ran a half Ironman this last weekend. It was pretty incredible as well as motivating. We fled to Chicago Saturday, and got back on Monday.
I'll probably say a bit tomorrow. Since I won't have much for taste for a few weeks after my surgery, we treated ourselves to an excessive amount of sushi tonight. Delicious.
I also feel that with Jackie's Ironman - me supporting and cheering for her, and her reciprocating my support with her own for my surgery - has brought us closer than ever.
I'll probably say a bit tomorrow. Since I won't have much for taste for a few weeks after my surgery, we treated ourselves to an excessive amount of sushi tonight. Delicious.
I also feel that with Jackie's Ironman - me supporting and cheering for her, and her reciprocating my support with her own for my surgery - has brought us closer than ever.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
One Week
One week from today I will be under the knife. Hopefully they will be about wrapping up right now if everything goes well.
One week, and yet I really don't feel any additional anxiety. Sure, I feel little bit nervous. They're operating on my damn brain! But it's almost a relief that the day is finally arriving. I'm enjoying this last week, trying to laugh more, eat some of my favorite foods (apparently I will lose taste for about a month), and just laughing at the world in general.
I will be going to Racine, Wisconsin this weekend to watch my wife do a half Ironman, so this weekend will probably fly by quickly as well. There are two more things I'd like to do before my surgery.
I'd like to visit my grandmother. She's not doing too well, and I don't know how long it will before I would be able to visit her again. I'm overdue to visit her anyway.
I'd like to visit my father's grave. I failed to do so over Memorial Day. I'm not a religious person, so one may question what significance visiting a monument has to me. I still respect the dead, and especially the memories. I'm also seeking inspiration. My father, all 5'7 of him, was the toughest bastard I've ever met. A couple of the surgeries he had were near medieval torture. He would come out of surgery completely deformed, almost unrecognizable. Yet, he'd never complain. NEVER. He'd always try to be up and about before the nurses would recommend it. I want to visit my father's grave out of respect, and out of thirst of inspiration. I plan to be cracking jokes and flirting with the nurses within 24 hours, just like he did.
My spirits are good. I'm so lucky to have the support system that I do. The duality of my posts represent my inner conflicts, and the duality of my ownself. Though sometimes my posts seem negative or on the dark side, one thing never changes in positivity - my friends and family.
One week, and yet I really don't feel any additional anxiety. Sure, I feel little bit nervous. They're operating on my damn brain! But it's almost a relief that the day is finally arriving. I'm enjoying this last week, trying to laugh more, eat some of my favorite foods (apparently I will lose taste for about a month), and just laughing at the world in general.
I will be going to Racine, Wisconsin this weekend to watch my wife do a half Ironman, so this weekend will probably fly by quickly as well. There are two more things I'd like to do before my surgery.
I'd like to visit my grandmother. She's not doing too well, and I don't know how long it will before I would be able to visit her again. I'm overdue to visit her anyway.
I'd like to visit my father's grave. I failed to do so over Memorial Day. I'm not a religious person, so one may question what significance visiting a monument has to me. I still respect the dead, and especially the memories. I'm also seeking inspiration. My father, all 5'7 of him, was the toughest bastard I've ever met. A couple of the surgeries he had were near medieval torture. He would come out of surgery completely deformed, almost unrecognizable. Yet, he'd never complain. NEVER. He'd always try to be up and about before the nurses would recommend it. I want to visit my father's grave out of respect, and out of thirst of inspiration. I plan to be cracking jokes and flirting with the nurses within 24 hours, just like he did.
My spirits are good. I'm so lucky to have the support system that I do. The duality of my posts represent my inner conflicts, and the duality of my ownself. Though sometimes my posts seem negative or on the dark side, one thing never changes in positivity - my friends and family.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Go Away.
Periodic tableware
Psychotropic science fare
But who will save the sane?
Some beings just can't change
Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think isn't he strange
Pseudogasmic chemistry
Necromorphic apathy
But who will save the sane?
Some beings just can't change
Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think isn't he strange
Physical laws unapplied Hamper my quest
Unsurreal world of unfailed HIV tests
Der ubermensch warning of pi techno junkies - 3.141592653
Come on boy
Tell me
Tentative ambulance date bound for G ward
Bear trap psychiatrist bait chew my paw off
Unmercilessly we will take you away to slumber
But only if you can recite avogadro's number
Come on boy
Tell me
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Shut up, Title
From the panes a green mist swirls
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons.
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence,
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence.
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover,
your mouth of wine and woodsmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate.
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning,
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning.
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons.
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence,
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence.
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover,
your mouth of wine and woodsmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate.
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning,
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning.
It's Getting Real
I was watching T.V. and saw a preview for a movie that's coming out July 29th. My surgery is on the 21st. It's just right around the corner. I remember when I set the appoint how far out July 21st seemed. It's almost here, but I'm ready.
My pre-op meeting in Iowa City went really well. They thoroughly educate you to the point where there's some redundancy. But this is better than leaving out any information. I'm more confident now than ever that I'm in good hands.
My pre-op meeting in Iowa City went really well. They thoroughly educate you to the point where there's some redundancy. But this is better than leaving out any information. I'm more confident now than ever that I'm in good hands.
It is What it is.
This weekend was somewhat of my "last hoorah" before my surgery. Jackie is running her Ironman in Racine next weekend, so we will be busy with that.
And how did it go?
It was fun - we went camping and tubing. It's somewhat of an Apple River here in Iowa. I guess it was mixed. The camping was great, the tubing was fun. Our group entailed of several people - probably 8-10 people. As midnight(ish) hit, I had enough fun and sun and decided to retire for the night. Jackie stayed awake and kept the train going....not problem there. What I find out today is that while I'm sleeping, two separate people professed their love to her. One person - no big deal. He was just a guy from a neighboring campsite that was hanging out. The tough pill to swallow is that the other person is someone I considered a good friend - he's married himself to a beautiful woman and has kids. After professing his love, he went as far as sexually propositioning her. Thankfully my wife is fiercely loyal, turned him down and essentially said he should be ashamed of himself.
This all took place while I was incapacitated - or at least sleeping. My worry is the amount of times this will happen when I'm recovering from my surgery. I would hope that people would respect her and our situation, but I just don't have enough faith in humanity. People take advantage of situations. There are good people out there, but there's a lot of a-holes as well.
I truly trust my wife - so these advances don't worry me in regard to her infidelity. What bothers me is finding what I thought to be friends exhibiting this behavior. This is why I generally exhibit misanthrope. It seems good people are few and far in between. Everyone else get's by at other's expense.
And how did it go?
It was fun - we went camping and tubing. It's somewhat of an Apple River here in Iowa. I guess it was mixed. The camping was great, the tubing was fun. Our group entailed of several people - probably 8-10 people. As midnight(ish) hit, I had enough fun and sun and decided to retire for the night. Jackie stayed awake and kept the train going....not problem there. What I find out today is that while I'm sleeping, two separate people professed their love to her. One person - no big deal. He was just a guy from a neighboring campsite that was hanging out. The tough pill to swallow is that the other person is someone I considered a good friend - he's married himself to a beautiful woman and has kids. After professing his love, he went as far as sexually propositioning her. Thankfully my wife is fiercely loyal, turned him down and essentially said he should be ashamed of himself.
This all took place while I was incapacitated - or at least sleeping. My worry is the amount of times this will happen when I'm recovering from my surgery. I would hope that people would respect her and our situation, but I just don't have enough faith in humanity. People take advantage of situations. There are good people out there, but there's a lot of a-holes as well.
I truly trust my wife - so these advances don't worry me in regard to her infidelity. What bothers me is finding what I thought to be friends exhibiting this behavior. This is why I generally exhibit misanthrope. It seems good people are few and far in between. Everyone else get's by at other's expense.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Update
It's been a while since I've posted, but with good reason. My buddy came in town from San Francisco for a few nights - fantastic time. Immediately after he left, my wife and I headed down to Lake Ponderosa to spend some time in the sun with some great friends. The weekend didn't disappoint. I've spent the 4th of July on Ponderosa for about the last 20 years, and this goes up there as one of my favorite memories. There may be certain things in life that I'm pessimistic about, but my wealth of friends is not.
I also had my pre-op meeting today in Iowa City. It was a 4 hour ordeal, which wasn't surprising. In my previous posts I think I wavered a little bit about my decision - this has been concrete now. Most of the 4 hours went through expectations, education, and how to cope with post-op recovery. The more I talk with the staff, the more comforting it is. Everyone down from the nurses, MRI techs, to the anaesthiogolists specialize in acoustic neuromas. So I'm moving forward and not looking back.
I've also been overwhelmed by the concern and love my family members and friends. In one drunken night a week or so ago, this was a complaint. Well, I was in self-pity mode as the reality is I'm wealthy in friends and family. Have I said that before? : )
I hope to update this a bit more often, just some real busy times. As firm as I am in my decision, I'm human, and do feel nervous. This blog does help me deal with this anxiety. At this point, I don't really care if anyone reads it.
Good luck, and good night.
I also had my pre-op meeting today in Iowa City. It was a 4 hour ordeal, which wasn't surprising. In my previous posts I think I wavered a little bit about my decision - this has been concrete now. Most of the 4 hours went through expectations, education, and how to cope with post-op recovery. The more I talk with the staff, the more comforting it is. Everyone down from the nurses, MRI techs, to the anaesthiogolists specialize in acoustic neuromas. So I'm moving forward and not looking back.
I've also been overwhelmed by the concern and love my family members and friends. In one drunken night a week or so ago, this was a complaint. Well, I was in self-pity mode as the reality is I'm wealthy in friends and family. Have I said that before? : )
I hope to update this a bit more often, just some real busy times. As firm as I am in my decision, I'm human, and do feel nervous. This blog does help me deal with this anxiety. At this point, I don't really care if anyone reads it.
Good luck, and good night.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
'Merica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going down to the lake today.
*blah blah blah blah, clever comment, blah blah blah blah, observance....clever comment, blah blah blah blah*.
Going to the lake, having some beers, will be with friends.
I love my friends. Just about as much as I love my family. I am thankful for the incredible people in my life. As much as I think I could be a complete hermit, I'm so thankful for my loved ones.
*blah blah blah blah, clever comment, blah blah blah blah, observance....clever comment, blah blah blah blah*.
Going to the lake, having some beers, will be with friends.
I love my friends. Just about as much as I love my family. I am thankful for the incredible people in my life. As much as I think I could be a complete hermit, I'm so thankful for my loved ones.
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