Shut up, Title

From the panes a green mist swirls
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons.
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence,
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence.
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover,
your mouth of wine and woodsmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate.
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning,
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning.

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you.  Weep, and you weep alone."

It's Getting Real

I was watching T.V. and saw a preview for a movie that's coming out July 29th.  My surgery is on the 21st.  It's just right around the corner.  I remember when I set the appoint how far out July 21st seemed.  It's almost here, but I'm ready.

My pre-op meeting in Iowa City went really well.  They thoroughly educate you to the point where there's some redundancy.  But this is better than leaving out any information.  I'm more confident now than ever that I'm in good hands.

It is What it is.

This weekend was somewhat of my "last hoorah" before my surgery.  Jackie is running her Ironman in Racine next weekend, so we will be busy with that.

And how did it go?

It was fun - we went camping and tubing.  It's somewhat of an Apple River here in Iowa.  I guess it was mixed.  The camping was great, the tubing was fun.  Our group entailed of several people - probably 8-10 people.  As midnight(ish) hit, I had enough fun and sun and decided to retire for the night.  Jackie stayed awake and kept the train going....not problem there.  What I find out today is that while I'm sleeping, two separate people professed their love to her.  One person - no big deal.  He was just a guy from a neighboring campsite that was hanging out.  The tough pill to swallow is that the other person is someone I considered a good friend - he's married himself to a beautiful woman and has kids.  After professing his love, he went as far as sexually propositioning her.  Thankfully my wife is fiercely loyal, turned him down and essentially said he should be ashamed of himself.

This all took place while I was incapacitated - or at least sleeping.  My worry is the amount of times this will happen when I'm recovering from my surgery.  I would hope that people would respect her and our situation, but I just don't have enough faith in humanity.  People take advantage of situations.  There are good people out there, but there's a lot of a-holes as well.

I truly trust my wife - so these advances don't worry me in regard to her infidelity.  What bothers me is finding what I thought to be friends exhibiting this behavior.  This is why I generally exhibit misanthrope.  It seems good people are few and far in between.  Everyone else get's by at other's expense.

No Title Thursday

Update

It's been a while since I've posted, but with good reason.  My buddy came in town from San Francisco for a few nights - fantastic time.  Immediately after he left, my wife and I headed down to Lake Ponderosa to spend some time in the sun with some great friends.  The weekend didn't disappoint.  I've spent the 4th of July on Ponderosa for about the last 20 years, and this goes up there as one of my favorite memories.  There may be certain things in life that I'm pessimistic about, but my wealth of friends is not.

I also had my pre-op meeting today in Iowa City.  It was a 4 hour ordeal, which wasn't surprising.  In my previous posts I think I wavered a little bit about my decision - this has been concrete now.  Most of the 4 hours went through expectations, education, and how to cope with post-op recovery.  The more I talk with the staff, the more comforting it is.  Everyone down from the nurses, MRI techs, to the anaesthiogolists specialize in acoustic neuromas.  So I'm moving forward and not looking back.

I've also been overwhelmed by the concern and love my family members and friends.  In one drunken night a week or so ago, this was a complaint.  Well, I was in self-pity mode as the reality is I'm wealthy in friends and family.  Have I said that before? : )

I hope to update this a bit more often, just some real busy times.  As firm as I am in my decision, I'm human, and do feel nervous.  This blog does help me deal with this anxiety.  At this point, I don't really care if anyone reads it.

Good luck, and good night.

'Merica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going down to the lake today.

*blah blah blah blah, clever comment, blah blah blah blah, observance....clever comment, blah blah blah blah*.

Going to the lake, having some beers, will be with friends.

I love my friends.  Just about as much as I love my family.  I am thankful for the incredible people in my life.  As much as I think I could be a complete hermit, I'm so thankful for my loved ones.