Remembering

...and to my 0 readers, I shall now speak (as you've all been waiting for) about these last 10 months.

As always no bullshit from me.  Encouragement...always.

After my surgery, there was somewhat of a post-surgery "bliss".  You've survived.  Everyone is offering you encouragement.  Your failures are overlooked and achievements are put on a pedestal.  Whether you have 1 person routing you on, or 10...you just want to kick ass for them.

As things must go, people move forward with their life.  Which is good.  Really good!  

But people forget.  It's just the way it goes.  I remember numerous of big procedures that family and friends went through.  I forgot.  It's just what we do.  Already people were forgetting that I had balance issues.  Forgetting that I was now deaf in my right ear.  I started getting and am even more socially awkward.  The thing that really, really gets under my skin is when people get annoyed because they can't hear me (it's 3x as annoying for me!) or when people repeat things really slow like I'm an idiot.

I also have shitty balance.  I fell in July and fractured a bone and sprained my wrist.  Was discouraging and started to feel like everything was against me.

However, all this being said, there are certainly positive things.  

I've taken a better, much better paying job.  I've done well at it, so the future looks good.  Outside of the (non) tumor and high blood pressure, my health is good.  AND?

IT.

COULD.

BE. 

WORSE.

Seriously.

Whenever I feel sorry to myself, I see/hear shit that makes my issues (non issues) seem so trivial.

People are here.

I'm going to leave this blog.

:)

16 Months Later

I've neglected this.

Some of it has been intentional, other circumstances were out of my control.

My laptop was out of commission for over 7 months, and I didn't feel like typing anything mundane that would come from my phone.

I just decided to stop typing.  I don't know why.  It stopped being therapeutic, I guess.  However I never play by yesterday, so I felt compelled to update, and may update after.  Or maybe not.

My year follow-up was delayed by scheduling conflicts between myself and my doctor.  Therefore it was finally conducted today.  The result?  I feel fortunate.  So far.

The brain MRI is still lighting up a small dot in the problem area.  When my tumor was removed, they put some sort of material in to fill the absence.  They don't know if it's just something from that lighting up, or if it's something tumor-like that's causing it to light up.  The Doctor doesn't seem concerned, and tells me this is pretty common.  I have to follow up in a year, but will follow his lead of not being concerned.

To my surprise I now find that my blood pressure is way high.  160 over 80 or some shit?  Crazy.  I probably should get that in check...

Six Months to the Day.

Here is a post I've been looking forward to.

This is a post I really wanted to relate to.

This is a landmark I wanted to call out.

In reality, my six month 'anniversary' is nothing.  It's just another day in my world.

That's not supposed to sound depressing.  All I really wanted is to get back into my world.  To have my world at the very least.

There are positives and negatives.  The positives are great - I mean, I am still living, full of love, and won't stop ticking!!!

Now...realistically.  I want people to know the truth.  Anyone that's considering this surgery...I want them to know what an average fella like myself feels.

Pick the brain of your doctor.  Don't ever feel like you're asking "too much".  Keep going.  Ask more.  If you go through with this surgery, they will get paid very well,.

Embrace science.  If your path involves surgery or not, realize that science has gotten to the point that most of us (including myself) can't comprehend.

If you can, find a great support system.  I am lucky in the fact that I'm very close with my family.  I do understand that there are folks with no one to talk to.  I'll give my number up all day long...but it will at least take a private message!

Your first 24 hours is going to suck.  You will be all pukey from hours of the 'good stuff', and you'll have plenty of other shit that will keep you on the fringe of the living and dead.  Just always remember in your most miserable times that things will get better.

...And they will.  Remember to focus on your progress.  You will be challenged.  You will conquer.  You will love it.  I'll get to my own weird circumstances later.